Political Bullshit....

YMCA chief fired after transgender ballA YMCA director was fired after parents of young children arriving for a morning program clashed with participants in an overnight transgender fashion show and ball.http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6753039&&CM=EmailThis&CE=1

So nice, they named it twice...

So, I am driving home from the airport, dead tired from not going to bed the previous night. Its about 11am. I get home, and go through the mechanical paces that I always do. Indiana for some reason is so mechanical for me. Nothing changes....not ever. I think that is what drew me to New York City. I remember the first time I went there. It was Spring Break, and I went alone. Everyone else wanted to go to Florida....not me. I wanted to go somewhere I never went before. I drove to NYC. BIG mistake. The traffic was terrible, and no where to park. Shocker huh?

I was so lost that I call the concierge at the hotel crying...he leads me to the hotel on the phone. I tip him $20 when I arrive and thank him over and over.

I had fun that trip. Nothing to exciting. Just lots of exploring. I switched hotels 3 times during that trip. I like to do things like that.


Now here I am a few years later...and I'm going to swinger clubs in the city. Big change.

Anyway.....back to my mechanical Indiana life.

That evening I get home, Bill instant messages me as promised. I was happy. It made it seem less cheap...even though I didn't regret what I did ....how could anything that felt soooooo good be so bad? We have a long conversation.

We have conversations most nights. We still do.

Bill the Dom

I was bored....it was my last night in the city. It was a Sunday night. I sit at my laptop, curled up in a chair, freshly showered, and in a comfy pair of flannel pants and a sweatshirt. it was about 6 or 7 pm. I wonder into a online chat room. Some form of a D/s chat. I lurk, as I always do. I hardly ever chat to people in a room.

An instant message pops up. "Bill" is a very polite, highly educated, older Dom. We start talking, and we talk about everything. The conversation never gets lewd, or nasty. I am impressed. He is a history teacher, divorced, and Dom....and he is nice. We chat some more. He tells me he is from Jersey. I mention to him that to bad he isn't closer...we could have met for a cup of coffee. He tells me he is 35 minutes from the city. I start to panic a bit....but calm down....as I am sure he wouldn't take me up on it. He asks if he can call me. I consent to this. We talk for awhile. His voice is soooooo sexy. He naturally leads the conversation, and I follow. Bill is easy to follow....he naturally steps in a Dom role, even when its in normal conversation. I love this. It makes me feel good, and grounded when a man does this with me. He asks about the cup of coffee....I tell him be careful what he suggests....I might take him up on it....and he says he will be on his way in 10 minutes.

He calls me as he drives into the city. We talk, and I get dressed. We decide to meet at the corner of 14th and 8th Ave, and walk to a coffe shoppe. It is 11pm by the time he gets there. We take a walk. I wanted to stay in very public places until I felt he was "normal". We walked to a deli....they were closing so we got coffee to go, and continued walking. It was a cold night. I noticed that Bill was shivering a little bit. We tried to find a place in walking distance to sit....but it seemed that nothing was open. We walked back toward his car. He switches places with me as we walk. I asked him why. He told me he prefers that I am not walking next to the road, that he wants to. I look at him and smile. Inside, I am feeling butterflies. I really like this guy...but I met him in a really awkward way. He asks if I would like to sit in his car to continue talking, or go to my place. I opted my place. By this time a felt comfortable. Or at least moderatly comfy. We walked the few blocks to the apartment that I was staying at. We walk naturally...his arm around my shoulders. As we walk, it is like a dance. He is leading, even though he doesn't know where I am walking to.

We get to the apartment. It is a fourth floor walk up. My bags are packed, and I'm ready to catch my 830am flight. Its about 1 am now. We sit on the couch and talk, and cuddle. He holds me. I love to cuddle. He admires my hair. I tell him its fake. He asks why....I tell him that is for another day. He doesn't press, which is nice. He starts to massage my back. We all know where this leads.....my shirt and bra come off next....he massages more. We head to the bedroom. Its 330 am now. Flight is at 830am. Tick tock tick tock.

We lay in bed kissing and massaging. I tell him I'm not going to have sex with him....he is ok with that. I couldn't bring my self to a one night stand. He makes my body shake with excitement....it is everything I can do to not beg him to fuck me.

I give in. I beg.....I ask if he has any protection on him....he doesn't . FUCK!!!!!!! Ok....so that idea isn't going ot happen. He fucks me with his hand....and squirm with pleasure. My pants that we say aren't coming off......come off. His stay on. He respects my wishes. He start to kiss my tummy...and going lower....I tell him no....He looks at me and tells me he doesn't only want tonight....he wants more then just tonight. Tick tock tick tock 4am.

He goes down on me, and I am in heaven.....he fucks me with his hand, and then his mouth. I cry for him not to stop. I am in heaven and don't even know how I got there. I come over and over. I can't believe it. I want him to fuck me so bad by this time.

5am....I beg him to stop....can't take it anymore. My legs are shaking from the most oral I have ever had straight through. He holds me in his arms. We spoon in embrace. This is my favorite position to cuddle.

5 15am He reaches over, flips me over. He tells me to caress his body. I do. His pants are still on. He asks me if I am surprises he hasn;t tried to fuck me. I tell him yes. He told me..."I promised you I wouldn't". Wow.....he keeps promises.

530am His pants come off. I pull down his boxers, and I am shocked....he has the biggest cock I have ever seen. I can;t help but take it in my mouth. He has such a pretty cock.....the kind you want to worship and suck for hours. I suck, and lick. Caress his balls. More sucking. I worship his cock. He takes it away from me and tells me to lay on my back. I obey. He jerks off on my breasts.....which I love.....How did he know?

600am Come is running down my chest. He tells me to rub it all over my tits. I do. It is warm and feels so good. I feel like he owns me, and I have only known him for 8 or 10 hours computer and real life collectivly.

615am "This is more then just a one night fuck Marcia" he tells me. I tell him I am going to get on a plane and probably never hear from him again. He grabs my shoulders and tells me we will talk that evening when I get home.

620am I freak out. My plane leaves LaGardia airport at 830am. I am sitting in the West Village of Manhattan with come all over my tits at 620. Big fucking problem. I get up to hop in the shower. He stops me. He tells me no....not to wipe it off. As kinky as it sounds.....I couldnt bring myself to not obey. I dress. I fell marked. I like it.

630am I gather my shit together, and do the last minute cleaning. Bill waits for me. I am a bit surprised. He insists that he carries my 2 VERY heavy bags down the 4 flights of stairs. This is when I knew I was going to hear form him again. Those bags were heavy, and he was free to go....and he didn't. He told me he wanted to see me off.

645am. We are walking with my bags toward the intersection to get me a taxi. I don't want to go. I want to stay and get to know Bill more. But I can't. I am sad. 12 hours ago....I was sitting alone bored....and this happened. I couldnt believe it. At taxi stops at a light right in front of us. I raise my hand. He pulls over. He asks where too......I say La Gardia quietly. Bill places my bags in the truck. We embrace. He tells me we will talk tonight.....and shuts the cab door. I sit in the cab and wonder if this really just happened.

I shave my hair...

I Shave My Hair

for I am not you, as you are not I
I shave my hair for I am no better than you, as you are no better than I
I shave my hair for those thousand moments where I am
judged as a woman
judged as long flowing tresses breasts and ass
condemned as silent not following the groove freak
condemned as a label that a stranger slaps upon my being
tortured as a woman
tortured as a human
I rid myself of the physical notability in hopes
that you may view the inner beauty and pain and breath
I rid myself in the hopes that you may rid yourself of the assumptioms
I rid myself so you may feel my humanness
I expose myself dreaming that you may do the same
I expose myself and pray.

a poem taken from : I Am Beautiful, A Celebration of Women in Their Own Words



Yes, I shave my hair. Why you may ask? Well, that is for another blog...maybe this weekend. I haven't had hair for about 10 years now. I generally wear a bandana...(I am known within my circle of friends as the girl that always wears one all the time.)
I don't really miss my hair. Sometimes I think it might be cool to go to get it cut....but hey, I can live without that in my life.

There is a whole following of fetishists that are into bald women....not my thing, but cool.

I love being bald. It goes along with not conforming to what people think is right. The phrase "bald is beautiful" is very true in my eyes.

More great quotes...

"Being able to say that one is a survivor is an accomplishment. For many, the power is in the name itself. And yet comes a time in the individuation process when the threat or trauma is significantly past. Then is the time to go to the next stage after survivorship, to healing and thriving. ... One can take so much pride in being a survivor that it becomes a hazard to further creative development. ... Once the threat is past, there is a potential trap in calling ourselves by names taken on during the most terrible time of our lives. It creates a mind-set that is potentially limiting. It is not good to base the soul identity solely on the feats and losses and victories of the bad times." Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With the Wolves

"Psychically, it is good to make a halfway place, a way station, a considered place in which to rest and mend after one escapes a famine. It is not too much to take one year, two years, to assess one's wounds, seek guidance, apply the medicines, consider the future. A year or two is scant time. The feral woman is a woman making her way back. She is learning to wake up, pay attention, stop being naïve, uninformed. She takes her life in her own hands. To re-learn the deep feminine instincts, it is vital to see how they were decommissioned to begin with." Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With the Wolves



"The nurture for telling stories comes from the might and endowments of my people who have gone before me. In my experience, the telling moment of the story draws its power from a towering column of humanity joined one to the other across time and space, elaborately dressed in the rags and robes or nakedness of their time, and filled to the bursting with life still being lived. If there is a single source of story and the numen of story, this long chain of humans is it." Clarissa Pinkola Estes


"If you have never spent whole afternoons with burning ears and rumpled hair, forgetting the world around you over a book, forgetting cold and hunger—If you have never read secretly under the bedclothes with a flashlight, because your father or mother or some other well-meaning person has switched off the lamp on the plausible ground that it was time to sleep because you had to get up so early—If you have never wept bitter tears because a wonderful story has come to an end and you must take leave of the character with whom you have shared so many adventures, whom you have loved and admired, for whom you have hoped and feared, and without whose company life seems empty and meaningless—If such things have not been part of your own experience, you probably won’t understand what Bastion did next." Michael Ende , The Neverending Story

Marcia has a Stalker

Why does this always happen? The blind date mistook my turning away from his kiss and routing it to a quick hug as my admission to true love. Can a man and a woman go out and have a good time, and just be friends? I guess not. This isn't the first time this has happened. Actually it happens a lot to me. I go out, and I know instantly who its going to happen with. If I am shy and a bit intimidated by a man, it doesn't happen. This usually happens with men that I date that are older then me and that I was physically attracted too. On the other hand...when I am not intimidated at all, and have to take the upper hand in date, I know that its going to be a bust. That is the submissive side in me I guess. To me...if I am not around a man that is Dom, there isn't really an attraction no matter what he looks like. I am thinking I should just give up dating non-Dom men....or at least men that arent very assertive.


Anyway...the blind date seems to think that we are a couple now. What do I do? I'm not one to blow a person off (yeah, I know, I'm to fucking nice.")

Oh well....any suggestions on how to get rid of the man that calls me 4 times a day and makes plans will be appriciated....

On Women, Sex and Related Matters

"You know that 'look' women get when they want sex? Me neither." - Steve Martin

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it? pretty damned good." - Drew Carey

A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said...no.

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

Sex: The most fun I've ever had without laughing (Annie Hall -1977) - Woody Allen (Allen Stuart Konigsberg) (1935 - )

If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all." - Rodney Dangerfield

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. - George Burns

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." - Henry Miller

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz SL500 convertible." - unknown

Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. - unknown

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only hope to find in their butlers. - unknown

I never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals.

That doesn't mean that the Lord doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." - Lynn Lavner

Any woman can make a man into a millionaire; she only has to start with a multi-millionaire.- unknown "Life is a sexually transmitted disease." - Unknown

My kid had sex with your honor student Quote on Bumper Sticker

My sexual preference is not you - Quote on T-shirt

My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room and a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I would hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit. Jerry Hall (model and former Mick Jagger significant other)

When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking hands. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. H.L. Mencken (1880-1956)

She has the eyes of Caligula, but the mouth of Marilyn Monroe. (speaking of Margaret Thatcher) - Francois Mitterrand (former President of France)

When you want to know something, ask a man. When you want something done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

You can always tell a Jersey girl...you just can't tell her much. You can't tell a Jersey guy anything...he's heard it all from the Jersey girl. - unknown

Love is the highest form of tolerance - Richard Burton

Marcia the teacher

I have now been named...and I think I am going to keep it. My friend, Jefferson (read his blog here) gave me this name. I am the girl he met in Central Park.

Today, I became a teacher. I decided last week that I was going to do some substitute teaching for some extra holiday cash. Today was my first day. I subbed for a speciel eduction classroom. It is one hell of a place to throw a girl on her first day. My day was surrounded by yelling kids, principles coming to see why a child was screaming, and milk poured down my back. Will I ever go back? You bet...it was a blast. I got paid to play. It might has well of been a form of prostitution.

Quotes from a Movie I liked....(Secretary)

As a mental health worker, submissive and all around slut....I appriciated the movie that I watched this evening...Secretary.


E. Edward Grey : Why do you cut yourself, Lee?
Lee : I don't know.
E. Edward Grey : Is it that sometimes the pain inside has to come to the surface, and when you see evidence of the pain inside you finally know you're really here? Then, when you watch the wound heal, it's comforting... isn't it?
Lee : I... That's a way to put it.

I worked with cutters before. WOW...its hard. Its actually one of the areas that I like that most to work with...Obsessive Compulsive Spectrum type Disorders.



[Lee refuses to remove her hands from the desk]
Peter : Are you doing something sexual?
Lee : Does this look sexual to you?

I loved this. What devotion! (Sorry guys, I don't think I could sit in a chair 3 days waiting on ya.)

[Mr. Grey explains to Lee why he's firing her]
E. Edward Grey : It's your behavior.
Lee : What about my behavior?
E. Edward Grey : It's very bad.


Fuck you Mr Grey, at least you could have fucked her before you fired her.

Lee: In one way or another I've always suffered. I didn't know why exactly. But I do know that I'm not so scared of suffering now. I feel more than I've ever felt and I've found someone to feel with. To play with. To love in a way that feels right for me. I hope he knows that I can see that he suffers too. And that I want to love him.



Lee : Each cut, each scar, each burn, a different mood or time. I told him what the first one was, told him where the second one came from. I remembered them all. And for the first time in my life I felt beautiful. Finally part of the earth. I touched the soil and he loved me back.

Great movie...check it out.

Blind is an understatement...

The blind date.

I went to my Christmas party for the vet that I worked for. Had fun, saw lots of people that I hadn't seen in a while. Then, I left at nine-ish for the date.

We met in Castleton at a restraunt. He was very polite. Pretty homely looking. He seemed intimidated by me at first which never happens. He was 33....10 years older then me. He is religious as well. Not the kind of guy you sit down with and drink beer when watching the game. Not sure what I am going to do about this though. He was wicked sweet, but totally no physical attaction to him. Any suggestions?

Blind Date

Today (in about 2 hours) I am going to a Christmas party for the vet I worked with. I am looking forward to this, but at 9ish, I have to head to Castleton for a blind date. Thats right...BLIND. Never seen the guy before. He seems nice to talk to ...maybe a little to nice. He is soft spoken and is a youth minister at his church. So, he might be a little to "nice" for my naughty personality. He is 33 too...which is a little young for my taste. But, alas...I need to go into this open minded. So, more later....hope its good...

Not all UPS Men are Men....

I have done a lot of things in my life, even though I am so young. I have always liked helping people, and social services seemed like the path for me to take. By education, I am a mental health counselor. Thats right kids...I'm the one ya go to when there is no hope. Scary, huh? I worked in case management for a while, and shifted to counseling in the past year when I was employed at the shit hole community mental health center in the town I live in. (Thats right fuckers, I still hate you Barb S.) I loved counseling. I love hearing the stories. I didn't like the bullshit that goes along with paperwork, billing clients for services that they didn't need, and all the bs that the company I worked for did to suck the blood out of people so they sayed poor. After awhile, I was placed working with cronically mentally ill clients. These guys are the sick of the sick. These are the ones that drink bleach and laugh about it. (yeah, it happened). Working with these guys made me come to the place I am in now. I needed a break. So what is a girl to do?

I joined "THE BROWN TEAM"! See what the Brown does for me?!?!?! Yeah, ok...so its not that great. I applied at UPS as a joke. But 3 weeks later, I got a call. The interview was a man telling me how hard the work is and that I didn't want the job. I was up for the challenge, and needed medical coverage, so I told him I was still interested. He hired me. I am in charge of international packages. Yeah, I have a title too. Its like nothing I have ever done before. I work will all dirty old men, and I love it. My mother rolls her eyes when I talk about it. She reminds me daily that I have 3 degrees and work in a blue collar job. I think it makes perfect sense. I work evenings, which kind of sucks...but its nice to work part time and have great benifits.

They are teaching me to drive the package cars. Watch out world....I might be the next UPS woMan knocking on your door....