Sleeping in Newark...

Two weeks ago, I boarded a plane to Newark. I was going to visit Ashlee and Bill. I arrived in New Jersey, and called Ash. At this point, we talk daily, every few hours. She had turned into a very close friend. She is picking me up at the airport, due to Bill working til 1pm in Jersey....then he is going to meet us at Ashlee's house in Westchester.

Ash was late picking me up, and I am tired. I fell asleep at Newark airport...for like an hour. Newark is really a gross place to sleep. I walked outside once I woke up, and Ash called me. I thought that she was still in her car, driving to the terminal, but she was on foot. When she finally found me, it was great. We hugged, and it was like two college best friends getting together. We were totally at ease with each other.

We headed toward Westchester, and stopped at a Mexican place for lunch. We decided that after that, we would head to her place, and lay down and take a nap, since I had to get up at 3:30am that morning to make it to the airport. When we were at her house, we crawled into bed, and fell asleep. I had never slept next to another woman that I was attracted too. It was a werid feeling. It was just sleeping, and it was nice.

Bill arrived in a couple of hours. He was very happy to see me, and I happy to see him. He was even more handsome then I remembered him. He took off his clothes, and crawled between us. He reached down and noticed that we both still had clothes on. He ordered us to take them off. I was shy, and he started to undress me.

He started to kiss me, and then Ash. He told Ash and I to kiss as well. We did. It was ackward at first. The only time I have even been with another girl before was for my partners benifit. This was as much for me as it was him. I have never been attracted to another woman like this...and it made me very cautious.

He crawled up on top on me, and ask me if I wanted him to fuck me. I looked down and nodded. It took nothing to make him hard. I remembered how big he was...it took a little while for him to get inside me. He was so big, and I was really tight. When he finally was inside me, it was all I could do but not cry...he was really big, and I was not used to that. He held me, and didn't move inside me yet. He kissed me, and told me "relax baby" very softly. Even though I was hurting, it was a good hurt, if that makes sense. He slowly started to move in and out of me...it was like nothing I ever felt before. Slowly he got faster, and I begged him slower. He slowed for a bit, and then started moving his hips again.....my head arched back, and tears ran down my cheeks, but not because it hurt. This was the most amazing sex I had ever had. He totally was in control...when I started to raise my hips to him, I found that I couldn't...it made him go in to deep. He commanded me to be still, and let him do that work. Without knowing it, my finger nails were grinding into his back. He thrusted into me, and waves of pleasure shuttered through my body. It was the hardest orgasm I have ever had. I couldn't move. He slowly pulled out of me, and then fucked Ashlee. It was so hot watching.

After Ash came, he fucked me again. My body couldn't take it...I was to sensitive. I asked him to stop. He instantly was worried, and asked if he hurt me. I told him no, it was that I haven't been with anyone in a while, and his size was a bit much.

Ashlee came over to me then, and kissed me, and went to her bedside drawer and pulled something out. It was some KY jelly type stuff, but it helped with my soreness that I was feeling. She tenderly rubbed that on me. The gesture was totally sweet. I laid there, with her sitting next to me, and she took care of me. She told me that it was like that at first for her too, and that it gets better. We just smiled at each other, and I watched her as she gently rubbed me. It was so tender, and loving. This was the first time I looked at a woman and thought that I could date her just as easiley as a man.

More later.....

Ashlee

7pm New Years Eve. I am a bit under the weather. Planning on staying home that night with CNN coverage of New Years Eve in New York City. Ashlee, Bills sub gets online. I say hi. She wishes me a happy new year. I do the same to her. I ask her what her plans are....she says to drink herself silly and nothing. This confuses me. Why isn't Bill spending NYE with her?

He is with Holly. Long story with Holly. They have a "past". She got stood up, and is hurt. It is breaking her heart. As a former counselor...I know when girl talk is needed. It is WAY needed here.

I call her. Ash is in tears and spills everything. She is in love, and fells abandoned and used. I agree. Its weird. We have never met....we talk about everything. I cheer her up, we laugh. This is a fucked up situation, and its hard to believe I am in this. Ashlee is a wonderful great person though, and I naturally like to help. We lose ourselves in conversation. We both feel sad.....looking at the clock....its 1150pm....Bill hasn't called either of us. We both feel dumped on. Ash and I ring in the New Year together. Its nice to have a friend that is a girl....we have talked for 5 hours at this point......

Poly Confusion....

A lot has happened with Bill the Dom since I came home. He has for all intents and purposes been a rock of stability in my life. He lives in New Jersey....and I really don't understand what is going on between us, but I know that thus far he has a good thing for me.

Shortly after I got home, Bill and I got into a big fight. He told me he was not monogamous. I was hurt, sad and pissed. If it is a one night stand, okay....thats fine....but let it be just that....don't add injury to insult.
*CLARIFICATION*

I am bisexual...I like women....ALOT :) But, I want to be in a committed relationship with one person....if we happen to have an open relationship, that is cool....but ya got to talk about that shit first, and have an understanding. So, not being conservative bitch here....I am as much of a whore as the next gal :)

So, he tell me he has another sub. His vision is to have a loving poly relationship with 2 or 3 women. WOW....that is deep. I could see myself in a LOVING relationship with a man and another woman....but not sure about 3 girls....that is a lot of pussy, menstral cramps, PMS etc.

Even though I am hurt he wasnt up front with him, I couldn't help but keep liking him. He told me why he didn't tell me...and I understood that.

We continued talking. I got to the point of being genuinly interested in his sub. He told me about her. So, Thursday night, I check email to get a very sweet message from her. We talk a bit in an instant message. She is a really cool person. She calls me. Even better. I am naturally shy, she was great. She is 21....I am 23. She is mature for her age. I really like her. Bill arrives at her house. She has to go. We say good bye, and she will call me later. I look forward to it.

People with plows...(X-mas Eve)

As Jefferson as pointed out to me days ago.... I am way overdue in blogging....

X mas Eve:

Christmas Eve is never a big deal to me...I am single, so I volunteer to work. Would rather see the guys at work home with their kids then me sitting at home doing nothing. Hey, money is money.

Work comprised of me loading a whole fucking semi of package by myself...I don't really mind doing that believe it or not...its a good workout. Then fueling and spotting the cars for the next day. No sweat....then sitting around for two hours. Good fun.

There is a ton of snow everywhere....about 16inches. That dear readers, is a lot of FUCKING snow. And of course, my driveway is LONG. Thank god for friends with plows.