This weekend I made one of my pilgrimages to one of the places that I love. New York City...the city of excitement, free thinking, good music, and people that walk really fast. I recently started a new job, which means I'm not going to be able to get away as easy as I used to be able to. So, I took this 4 day holiday as a chance to get to New York City, as I am not sure when I will get back there.
I leave early Thanksgiving morning due to having to work late Wednesday. I head to the counter where the American Trans Air Nazi representative informs me that I am to be here 1 and 1/2 hours before my flight, and not 1 hour and 5 minutes before. I look at her and she returns the look...bitch is what I am thinking. So once the lady lectures me, I am on my way.
The flight is terrible, but I arrive. I head over to my friends apartment, which is a good story about how I even stay there. (Will explain D's place later.) I get to the apartment which is a 4th floor walk-up. Now, if the apartment wasn't so nice, it wouldn't be worth it to have to climb the Mt Everest staircase, let alone with 2 suitcases, but alass...its nice a cheap...and that doesn't happen much in New York City. I arrive, and promptly fall asleep as I am exhausted from the flight from hell.
About 9pm, my cell rings. It's G, a friend from Jersey. G and I kind of have an understanding. Good friends, no strings, and really great sex. G is also 23 years older then me. (Yeah, its a trend.) G and I met on the internet about a year ago when I was coming to the city every 3-6 weeks. I got bored, and he was a good tour guide. How we ended up naked on my friends living room floor, I will never know. So, G and I sometimes hang out together, and the relationship is based around sex. Easy enough.
So I get his call, telling me he is gonna stop by to say hi. We all know what that means. So, I hurry and take a shower, apply a little makeup, ruff up my hair so it looks like i didn't try, and I'm ready. I curl up on the couch, and wait for him to arrive. He rings the bell, and I let him in. He is exhausted by the time he gets to the top of the 4th floor (cigs will do that to you, G). He comes in, we cuddle on the couch a bit before we start kissing and touching. I stand up and lead him to the bedroom, the clothes come off, and I tease his cock with my tongue. He holds my head and begs me to ride him, which I do. Now, this is not my favorite position. I like it when the man is in control, I feel a little lost when its all up to me. (Thats the submissive side that G doesn't get in me I guess.) After a little of this, he rolls me over and goes down on me. Now, I have to say one thing. This man can eat pussy...MY FUCKING GOD. I think if it wasn't for the oral sex skills, I could live without this guy, but wow. Nuf said. We were done at 4am, and he says he should get home...(fucker). We plan on going out the following night, so I welcome the chance to sleep. On the bright said, he snores like a mo fo, so its probably good he was off on his way.
I wake up at 1pm on Friday. Classy isn't it :) I head out to shop, and such. It was nice. I even made my way to Chinatown and Little Italy without getting lost. And, I found my sister a fake Louis Vitton, so she is a happy girl now. About 10, I head back, as G is going to come over and we are going out to The Fetish Warehouse, in Brooklyn, www.fetishwarehousenyc.com He is humoring me. I fudge and tell him there is gonna be cool lesbians fucking, and he was game to go. We arrive, and not many people there. There was a guy walking around buck naked, with nipple clamps on, and a couple trannie's, and a few others. Here, we watched a bit, and them after about an hour, I start kissing and rubbing on G, as he knows I have this thing about being watched. After our little making out/partial nudity scene, I was ready to go, and get fucked at the apartment. On the way home, we talked about we both liked being watched, and that a friend of mine had told me about a swing club in Manhattan, Le trapeze. I didn't think I was going to be into swinging, but the idea of having sex in front of people and getting to watch was enough to convince me. We plan on that for the following night.
The following night, I start to have second thoughts. I ask if we can just go to Paddles, a NYC S/M club which I am fond of, and follow from the Midwest via email lists and sometimes I go to chats that they hold. There are nice people there, and its not new. G convinces me that he really really really wants to go to Le Trapeze, and that he isn't into S/M, and begs. Ok, so I am gonna take one for the team.
I get ready, and dress nice, not knowing what to expect. When we arive I am surprised in a good way. It was pretty clean, and the people looked normal. I was really afraid I was gonna walk in and everyone was models. We check in, and G pulls out 120 dollars for the cover. I couldn't believe it was that much. I'm thinking that if its that expensive, at least bums wouldn't be there.
We head to the "locker room". They make you disrobe, and wrap up in a towel to be in the club. Ok...A little nervous but I dealt. We start exploring. I am in shock. Couples everywhere, and they are fucking. We go upstairs, and there were a bunch of mini orgies. Wow. So we go back down to the main orgy room. (Ha, that is really the name.) Couples are fucking everywhere, and 3 somes...I'm still in a little shock. So, after about an hour of watching, I am getting pretty hot, and ask G if he wants to sit down a little in the corner. After a thorough but quick exam of the area we were about to sit in (didn't want to sit down on a pile ya know?) we sat down and started to make out. Before we came, I told him there had to be rules. I didn't want to swing, but touching and petting was ok. And, I didn't want to fuck him while we were there. So we start doing a little kissing and such, and I start sucking his cock. I get him nice and hard, and he swings me over, and starts fucking me with his hand. My legs streached out, and all the sudden, I look up and a guy is fucking a girl doggy style right by us, and caressing my leg. I smile, and let him. (No harm, right?) Once he is done fucking her, he comes over to me, as I am still getting hand fucked by G, and starts sucking on my nipple, and his girlfriend he was fucking latched on to the other. WOW. This was nice. All the sudden, the girl says "I'm going to borrow him a minute, and G follows." I feel kinda hurt, but Mr Sexy guy with thick accent was sucking my tits, so I was ok. I was touching my pussy, and he told me he wanted to taste my pussy. I shook my head, saying I was a little to new to this yet. He was very nice about it. I look back over, and Ms Girlfriend is sucking G's cock. So much for rules we had. I proceed to masturbate and Mr Sexy is playing with my tits when Ms Girlfriend says, "I want to taste you on his cock before I eat your pussy". I shook my head. Was still a dear in headlights at this point. I am coming close to coming, and I look over and Ms Girlfriend is riding G, and he flips her around and dives in and eats her pussy out. At this point, I am pissed because I came for G, and we had ground rules. I felt really uncomfortable sitting there with Mr Sexy, and the other guys that were wanting to fuck me, and turning them down. The plan was to be with each other so the other wouldnt have to be uncomfy. G forgot.
I get up, and whisper to G that I am going to the little girls room. I get there and ask for my clothes, which they cant give me without G being there. I go get G, which is done by then. He starts justifying himself right away. I say nothing and we dress, and head out. We head toward his car, and I keep walking, and get in a cab. He yells at me and told me he wants to talk, but I wasn't listening. Maybe I was making to big of a deal out of it, but the deal was to go and get watched , not swing, and I was made really uncofy a few times, and for that I was pissed.
I head to the apartment, and go get something to eat. When I return, this is in my email box:
xxxxx,
Look, I'm really sorry about tonight.
I'm sorry we even went there. I'm sorry I put you in an uncomfortable, difficult and dangerous situation. I'm sorry that even though I asked you if you were ok, I didn't read you right. I'm sorry I did what I did...no matter who I was there with, that was the most stupid thing I could have done. And I'm sorry that I made you so angry and upset...you should be.
I just lost my head. I was thinking but I wasn't thinking. It was like there were two of me. I'm sure that I'm not the first person that's happened to there and I won't be the last. But that's no excuse at all for doing that to you. I brought you there and I was responsible for you and for myself and I did a pretty damn bad job of being responsible for either of us. But I take responsibility for that now, for what it's worth. I was completely wrong.
I know I kept asking you if you were ok and even though you said yes, I should have known better. But you kinda surprised me at the place in Brooklyn last night, so I wasn't sure. You seemed convincing to me and a few times I looked over and you had your eyes closed in what I thought was enjoyment, not in a bad way. You didn't seem tense or scared to me. I didn't want to stop them if you were enjoying it. I was waiting for you to grab my hand or give me a look that said "stop this", but if you did I didn't see it. I'm in no way saying any fraction of this is your fault...it's my fault! I just didn't know really what to do...I guess I should have just asked them to stop but I didn't want to create a scene. Sometimes I'm like that...I just let things go without taking a stand. I hate that about me. But thinking about it now, a simple no probably would have stopped them. I'm sure it happens there a lot. I just wasn't thinking that way at the time.
As far as the woman went, she started taking out a condom and I thought she was going to sit on me. I told her no and that's why I flipped her over on her back, so I could keep her from doing that before I could react. I know I should have left it at that and said that's enough. I should have, but I didn't. I just don't know why I didn't. I was stupid. I'm sorry. I just got kinda overwhelmed with everything. I was never in a situation like that before. But again, no excuse. I should have stopped it. And I shouldn't then have done what I did.
I'm very sorry that I seem to have fucked up our friendship over 15 minutes of stupid behavior. I really, truly am sorry for that. I don't know if you're going to ever talk to me again, I hope you will be able to forgive me but if you can't I can understand why. You have every right to be disgusted with me...I'm pretty disgusted with myself right now. I just lost it for a few minutes.
I honestly, truly apologize. Even if you don't talk to me again, I just wanted you to know that I'm not just blowing it off...I'm really sorry to you. I guess if I see you online and you don't say hello, I'll know.
G
SO..........
I am not sure what to do about this. But, I have to say....I liked my swing club expirence, just wished G could have stuck to the rules. Baby steps, you know.....hell next time I might have been just like him, but I needed someone I could trust, and he wasn't it. And it hurt because I thought I could.
More later about the NYC weekend....for now, off to work!
