Baby Steps...

This past weekend was quite an expirence. It started out with a picnic. My "Rope Guy" that I am crazy about showed up about an hour later then me. I was really excited to see him. It had been two weeks, and quite honestly, I really REALLY missed him. It made my heart jump a bit when I saw his car pulling around and saw him get out. Gosh....I think I am turning into a high school girl again.

He immediatly came over and greeted me and touched me. This is something I really love about him. We always have our hands on each other. It's almost like his touch sends an energy thought my body that gives me strength. Whatever it is, it is intense.

We ate lunch, and chatted with friends. Afterward, waterguns were pulled out, and for me, that was my que to exit.....lol. I had a few blankets in my truck, and asked Rope Guy if he wanted to go lay in the shade. He asked me if I was going to join him......HMMMMM let me think? lol.....Ummm yes.

We situated ourselves under a shade tree, next to a creek. He sighed.....and said this is not as bad as it seems....my heart dropped, and I was really scared. At this point people started to ask him permission to talk to me, to play with me etc....and I was really worried that it might be getting to him....since he has pretty much been a confirmed bachelor for awhile.

He wanted to "define" what we were. Wow.....ummmm and my response to this was....well.....GOSH.......

I asked him what he wanted, he asked what I wanted. It was short and simple. Probably a little to short and simple, but that is okay. For us, baby steps seem to be our speed, and for two people that have been hurt before, I am okay with that.

Doing something continued (still not done....)

So I said I would talk more about this guy that shares this rope thing with me. I scened with him often, and my gut kept telling me to take things a step further. But...thats hard for someone that is NEVER forward. EVER with men. PERIOD. Okay...now that is established, what can I do to get closer to this man that I majorly am crushing on? Well, I go to a rope convention that he is going to. Simple enough, right? Oh God.....it was so not simple.

I got there Friday and rested until that evening. I was walking around the common area, and spotted him with another couple. I walked over to say hello. He wasn't expecting to see me until Sunday.....I told him my plans changed and I decided to come to the whole thing. He was getting ready to suspend the woman from the couple that he was hanging around with for the first time. He asked me if I wanted to get in line.......you don't have to ask me twice......

I sat and watched him work, showing her partner how to tie and knot this woman into beautiful hip and chest harnesses. All of a sudden, she was in flight.....and it was breath-taking. There is something so spiritual about rope. Its hard to put into words, but just sitting there on the carpet watching, it surrounded me.....engoulfed me....and quite literally took my breath away.

They finished their scene, and it was my turn. Little did I know.....this would be the most intense scene I have ever expirenced in my life. He stood behind me, and soft hemp touched my body. The smell sourounded me, and at that point, it was simply Him, me, and this magic rope that seemed to be stitching my very being back together. I don't really remember the process.....only the moment I started to fly. When he tied off the ropes, and situated himself under me, rocking me back and forth gentely, I was in another place.....someplace with no worry, no stress.......just peace and serenity. I have never floated like this before, and I couldn't talk......he knew exactly when I needed to come down....and when he let me down, I kneeled there, on the carpet, in a ball.......he held me, and something came over me.......I still honestly do not know what is was, but the feeling was almost magical.

First Public Self Suspension...

Here is an image from my first public self suspension. It was really intense....and ended up leading to self inversion.....which I will post a picture of once I block out my face in it. I had a really great time doing this in public, and the responses that I got from the people that were watching were amazing. More pics of this night will come once they are edited.......

Do something already.....

This new rope fetish has been a real big journey for me. Not only for me....but a journey of finding a connection with someone.

I have been in the middle of a termoil. For the last few months, I have been hanging out with a guy that is really cool on the weekends at a dungeon that we both frequent. What can I say about this man.........he quite literally gets under my skin. He makes me catch my breath when he walks into the room, and he has really good energy. The kicker you ask? I have never had a conversation with this man. Not really at least. We talk here and there before we scene (which I might add this man is the shit at scenes.....I haven't got this hot scening....well.....ever.)

So, I am feeling all warm and fuzzy over this guy, and he acts like he has the hots for a friend of mine herein shall be refered to as Blondie. Cuz, well.....she is both mentally and in real life. Dammit....she is a nice person, and has been nothing but kind to me, but she gives me a bad feeling. I guess when you know about someones background you tend to judge them, and when they are getting what you want.......well.....kind reader....you know how us girls are. We are jealous bitches. And how do jealous bitches handle each other? They act like they are best friends. Damn we women are fickle as fuck.

Its hard to watch them together. It must be puppy love or something, because we haven't really talked much. I don't honestly know what it is about this man that really makes me attracted to him. Sometimes you just have to listen to your guy instinct and heart. And mine tells me to do something about it.......

My new fetish...

Here I am again....Sporadically blogging when I think of it. So much has happened in the last few months. I started to become active in the local BDSM scene. God, it is nice to be back again. I missed it so much since my last relationship with my Master/ex. I have met so many great people, and am really happy that I have "came out" since moving back.

And then it happened.....

I now have a fetish. A really really big fetish for ROPE! Oh my god....there is nothing like the feel of hemp rope against a naked body. The feeling of rope hugging my body is so releasing.....erotic......Therapeutic.

Since becoming active in the local BDSM scene, I buddied up with a man, that was very much into rope. Not only is he into rope, he is into suspension bondage. Suspension bondage my friends, it quite literally amazing. There is nothing I can possibly say to describe the feeling of a man that is really cool in the first place, putting rope on me, hanging me up, and connecting with me. More later about this.....Here I am again....Sporadically blogging when I think of it. So much has happened in the last few months. I started to become active in the local BDSM scene. God, it is nice to be back again. I missed it so much since my last relationship with my Master/ex. I have met so many great people, and am really happy that I have "came out" since moving back.

And then it happened.....

I now have a fetish. A really really big fetish for ROPE! Oh my god....there is nothing like the feel of hemp rope against a naked body. The feeling of rope hugging my body is so releasing.....erotic......theraputic.

Since becoming active in the local BDSM scene, I buddied up with a man, that was very much into rope. Not only is he into rope, he is into suspension bondage. Suspension bondage my friends, it quite literally amazing. There is nothing I can possibly say to discribe the feeling of a man that is really cool in the first place, putting rope on me, hanging me up, and connecting with me. More later about this.....

I'm back...

I'm back.....

It never fails. I always find my way back to writing when I find difficulty in my life. Writing is a good outlet for me to be able to express myself without getting tangled up in words which are spoken. Maybe that makes no sense, but to me, its a hard thing.

Many things have been going on the last few months. I have found myself becoming active in local BDSM groups, which I have been very scared to get involved in since moving back from the big bad city. In the city it was easy. It was so much more acceptable there to "be kinky" for lack of a better term. I have found some really great friends since I started to become active in the local scene. For that, I am grateful.